"Don't worry! It will be better than you think!" called out one of my guides last night as I was falling asleep. I talked to some of my friends from my women's circle about how spaced out and disconnected I've been feeling lately, and they recommended that I tried to call in my guides and ask for help protecting my space, and to then try journeying in protected space too.
So right before I fell asleep I called four of my guides, kind of randomly selected, and asked them to protect me from all this crazy energy so I could hear their guidance better and feel more in my body. One of them kind of shouted that to me as I drifted off, and I actually remembered it first thing in the morning. And I slept very well, some of the best sleep I've gotten in three weeks.
This whole moving back to The Land thing... I find myself wanting to whimper, "I don't wanna!" I'm assured by The Most High that I will be taken care of no matter what, and that He'll always have my back no matter what people may say or do. And my ancestors keep insisting that it will turn out great. And my guides said so today on my journey that I finally did manage to take.
But I don't think it'll be smooth sailing, and I usually think everything will be smooth sailing.
I had a dream that my ex got really mad at me and turned everyone he knew against me, and the very building I was standing in collapsed (reminded me of the Tower card in tarot). I did climb out of the rubble unharmed, but it still sucked.
In my journey, I saw the same house my great-grandmother had shown me in the reading from before. This time I was actually living in it, only it wasn't winter, it was... I guess spring or summer. There were huge, unprecedented amounts of love and happiness in my home. My ex didn't live there, of course, but was running a successful business and wasn't a part of my daily life anymore. But before we got to that part, there was me and someone close to me getting shot in the back by ten arrows and having to help each other up, and having to use a lot of protection to like, basically reflect back a shit-ton of the bad eye and nasty vibes and general fuckery.
There was all this reassurance that everything would turn out well, but what about all the hard parts of getting there? Or what if all those visions are total bullshit and nothing good happens? I do trust that Great Spirit will always have my back, but like... Couldn't I just stay here in the south where I'm cozy?
The whole capital region over there has such horrible energy. I always disliked it when I lived there. It's like this gray cloud hanging over it, it's so heavy. I guess I could find out where the other foreigners hang out and go make friends with them. Show the local Eastern Europeans my "23 and Me" results and have them over for coffee and take turns telling each other's fortunes or something. (That actually does sound like fun.)
My soul sister Sarah's mom is a "prayer warrior" at her church in Oklahoma and she told Sarah to tell me that she's been praying for me multiple times a day (Thanks, mom, I love you!) and that she said that I have a bright light inside. That it was dim for a while but it is back and that I need to shine it. Sarah herself said we need to be strong and she feels like we're stronger than most people. And then Niki told me that now is the time to be brave. That echoed my ancestors who told me that same thing in the shower the other day. (What is it with dead people talking to me in the shower? I guess I usually start it, actually. What is it with me talking to dead people during my showers?) Anyway Niki also said that I'm stronger than I think, and that, "Even at its dimmest, your light shines brighter than most."
[insert crying emoji here]
Today on my journey, my two most trusted guides took me to The Land, somewhere up north, and I was like, "Why did you bring me here?" and they said, "Because this is your Home."
So if I'm being sent into what feels like the belly of the beast... I won't be afraid. There's nothing a bunch of small town shit-talkers can do to scare me. Pssh. Don't they know who I is? Don't let my delicate bone structure fool you. I'm flanked by some of the baddest-ass guardians they've ever NOT seen with their no-second-sight-having, three-dimensional-physical-world-and-nothing-more-seeing, beady little Scandinavian eyes. Please. Your cops don't even have guns, why the HELL haven't y'all had a revolution yet? There ain't no army, just storm Parliament and take that shit by force! Think you can scare me? Did I stutter?!
I think the sugar I ate before I started writing this just hit my bloodstream and is making me run my mouth. My point is somewhere around here...
I can do it. I asked The One to send me where He needed me to go, so... If this is where He needs me, I'll go.
But if it truly sucks ass, I got two passports and I'm not afraid to use 'em. To come back to Texas. Stopping in Dollywood on the way. Or perhaps Malta. One never knows, does one?