I guess by now it goes without saying that I'm a bit of an odd bird. An airy fairy. A new age (I prefer "old school") weirdo.
I meditate a lot and I go within and listen to my guides. Yeah, like spirit guides. Yeah, like power animals.
Most of them are large, North American mammals. Not all, but most. There are a couple of birds in there, too, and some ancestors and more. It looks like a vintage travel poster to various national parks in here.
|I fell down a rabbit hole of vintage travel posters and it was glorious.|
But I really love my guides. When I call on them, they walk really close around me, so close we're almost touching. They protect me, and they give me messages.
This year, there have been recurring messages:
- Ignore the outer and listen to the inner.
- Don't rely too heavily on divination like tarot or psychics, especially if they conflict with your inner voice.
- Always listen to your inner voice (I'm sensing a pattern).
- Things aren't always what they seem, and you don't see everything at the same time (see numbers 1-3).
- What you do in the spirit world has a real impact in the "real" or three-dimensional world.
- You're safe in America.
That last one is a bit weird, isn't it? I'm safe in America? Statistically speaking, that's actually pretty questionable. I mean, we're kind of a giant sh#t show right now. But that's what they said.
Actually, the last time I spoke to them, a few days ago, they specifically said, "You're safe in America. You're always safe here. You won't always live here, but you're safe here and you'll always come home."
Whatever that means.
Spirit gives weird guidance and weird answers to things that don't always make sense. In fact, most of the time they make you look crazy.
For example, when I decided to move to California back in '06, it was after wanting to go there for years. Wanna know how I made the decision to finally go? I woke up one morning at my parents' house in Maryland, the sun was streaming through the window, and the voice inside said, "It's time to go to L.A." So I said, "Okay," and I started saving up my money and made the plan to go. It took about six months from that point, but I got there.
I feel like for some reason I was supposed to be raised here in the States, and that I have some kind of connection to the land, probably from various past lives. Maybe some of us get moved around like chess pieces every few years, to one city or another, or between countries, because we're needed to help out somehow in the grand scheme of things. Or maybe I just have a fear of settling down.
Another example. When I met my former spouse, I had been living in Chicago and things were not working out. Even though I really loved the city, I was broke and really struggling. I got a $1,000 tax refund and I used it to buy a ticket to Iceland, because for some reason I felt like I really needed to go there "to clear my head." My parents were like, are you insane, don't blow your money on that, you're broke, you need to find a better job and get your life right. But I didn't listen and I went to Iceland for a month. That was the year of that infamous volcanic eruption that shut down all the European airports for several weeks. And I ended up meeting my future baby-daddy, which got me my amazing daughter.
Every time I've listened to the voice within, I've looked crazy or dumb to everyone around me, but I ended up being onto something pretty good.
Every time I've ignored the voice within, I've ended up regretting it.
So, I'm listening.
It says things like... You can't see the whole picture yet, but you will. Don't give up your magic. Disregard the naysayers. Listen to your heart.
Yesterday I was attempting to work and keep up with my school stuff (I'm hopelessly behind) and failing miserably at both.
There is an alternative teacher certification program here in Texas that I got accepted to at the same time as my master's program. It's designed for people with bachelor's degrees so they can get certified and start teaching faster. I know two teachers who have done it and they loved it. It's cheaper and then if I want to get my master's later, I can get financial help from the school district where I teach.
I ended up calling to see if it was too late to switch and they said I could start any time. The voice within said to go for it. So I am! I have to finish withdrawing from the university and then I'm going to spend the rest of the summer working my tail off to get ready to apply for a teaching job for the fall. It feels right. I'll be in the career I want with a full salary and benefits, and one step closer to being independent. Instead of spending two years stressing out over how to get everything done (and getting nothing done), I'll be able to teach in just a couple of months, and fully licensed in a year. And I'll be debt free instead of piling on more student loans.
Huzzah! I'm excited! I feel lighter and happier. This feels like a thing that will lead to another thing that I can't see now because you never get to just see the whole path at once (so annoying).
So I feel a lot different than I did even just yesterday. It feels windier around here. Like right before a really great summer storm, but the actual weather outside is clear. I mean I feel the way I do on the inside right before a really great summer storm. Like a charged up little magnet. Or, I guess, a rather large magnet, since they tend to be pretty small. Things feel kind of... crackling. Like static electricity.
Anyone else feel that? Is it just me?